HR: A Waste of Time?

How many Human Resources departments contain people whose ability to communicate on a human level is close to or less than zero?

I have friends who see themselves as leaders of people and therefore, the ideal material for a career in HR, when they would be better suited as guards in a prison camp.

Just recently a local school was in need of help from the Local Education Authority due to problems that have arisen through poor leadership. When things came to a head, the messenger of doom from the LEA HR Department advised the staff that the problem was in hand but they were no means out of the muck so they’d better not rest on their laurels.

Excellent! Why not just say, “You bunch of incompetents! You need our help and we are going to be watching every move you make.” Like Boris in Golden Eye, “We are invincible!“

Had the problem arisen through shortcomings by the very experienced staff who taught at the school, fine; but they weren’t! They were the result of rules imposed by a rather single-minded head, who had little regarded for advice by teachers, parents or the LEA and who ruled with an iron rod in a velvet sack.

Separating out the issues from the emotion, this situation did not need a social incompetent from the LEA HR department to exercise their authority. It needed and still needs someone to say, “You know what? This is a pretty sticky situation you’re in but you have the experience, we have the expertise so let’s work together and we’ll sort it out.“

HR departments are no different to any other. They are run by people and need (perhaps more than ever, because of the weight of authority they carry, good, basic, grunt level human interactive and social skills.

(As a quick aside … Why do they deny this authority? In case of legal comeback? Smoke and mirrors? Deceit? I can still remember being told by one HR Commandant that they can only advise and not tell … hmmm!)

It’s not about power (though I think for many it is about getting a kick/security from being in control and influencing others; not necessarily for good). It’s about empowering; giving people the tools and support they need to achieve the tasks and overcome the threats, barriers, hurdles they face. Poor leadership says much more about the leaders than those they lead.

There is a flip side to this …

There is a saying that “where the darkness is darkest, the light shines brightest.” I want to thank those seemingly increasingly few members of HR departments who really do stand out as being people who fit the job like a silk glove (rather than a boxing glove). Those who

• Are a source of inspiration, support and common sense in a quagmire of ego
• Really are the personal side of a department that purports to be about people
• See themselves as having a personnel role rather than just a project manager

Those people who prove daily that HR does not stand for Human Remains.

Surely, if HR is going to be effective they have to communicate and interact effectively with the people for whom they have responsibility/oversight. If they do, great. If not, then they are potentially rather a waste of time!

Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence

Today I'm going to start a 'mini-series' on what I see as possibly one of the most crucial elements to any success story: self-esteem and self-confidence. I've put them his way round for a reason that will become apparent as you read on ...

So let's start at the beginning ...

What are they?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines them as follows:

Self-Esteem

• noun confidence in one’s own worth or abilities

Self-Confidence

• noun a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement

At a first glance they may seem to be the same thing. Indeed, they are very close, but self-confidence is based more around what we can do whilst self-esteem is based more on who we are; our worth.

Both are incredibly important in shaping our lives and enabling us to achieve our potential. If we have no self-esteem then achievement becomes much more difficult and we often sabotage our own efforts (at least mentally) before we start or give ourselves chance to achieve anything. Without self-esteem there is little or no foundation on which to develop self-confidence.

Our lives are a tapestry of events; some good and some bad. The proportion and magnitude of these events can be highly significant in developing our self-esteem and ultimately, self-confidence (or lack thereof).

Here's a couple of simple scenarios which help to demonstrate this (based on two friends of mine):

Friend A came from a family where achievement was the norm. Mum and dad were both high flyers and the level of expectations in the family was high. Older brother was at university studying astro-physics and younger brother was a brilliant pianist. Unfortunately, my friend was less academic although he was extremely practical. You can imagine that when his test and exam results came in, he was not at the top of the list. He was frequently berated by his parents for underachieving. His self-esteem fell. He felt that he was worth little because he could not do what was expected of him. Not surprisingly he rebelled and became a real problem ... until he left home and eventually set up his own business repairing cars, servicing and tuning engines. His reputation spread and he became a very successful businessman. Not surprisingly he also became very confident and happy with his lot! It wasn't that this young man had no ability; it was that his abilities were overlooked because he did not fit into the expectations of others. He needed the chance to discover and apply his many talents, and when he did ...

Friend B came from a totally different background. The members of his family were not high achievers. His dad worked at a local company as a storeman and his mum worked in a local bakery. My friend was very good at electronics and always had things in pieces. His sister loved art (but was not top of the class). Both parents were full of encouragement for my friend and his sister. Fast forwarding ten years ... both my friend and his sister became very successful in their respective fields. And both were very confident people. When they speak of their parents, they both speak with great affection, with genuine thanks for how they were trusted and for the confidence that was instilled in them because of this. They were valued as individuals and given the chance to experiment and fail, knowing that their parents were always behind them. They knew this and it shaped their high self-esteem and self-confidence.

Now I know that these two examples are probably towards the extreme ends of the spectrum, but they are real examples which demonstrate how important self-esteem is for developing self-confidence. I also understand that in order to achieve some things, we need to aim high and be motivated and pushed on by those around us. But if our core belief doesn't allow us to accept those things we need, then we will not achieve our potential; we will only be driven into greater self-doubt.

We may look at ourselves and think that we have very little to offer. Is that the truth? Or is it because we lack the self-esteem and self-confidence to see beyond that to what potential we really have? It's often how we see things that makes the difference.



Light in the darkness or darkness
threatening the light?

It is also worth considering what impact we have on the self-esteem and self-confidence of others ... but that's for next time.

Our History Dictates Our Destiny?

Lately I've been thinking about how our achievements in life are shaped and moulded by our history and experiences, with some of the strongest stimuli for success or failure being in our childhood years. I know this can be an over-simplification but listening to life stories, I find it very interesting how often there are clear trends. First the negative impact ...

Interviews with many porn stars and ex-porn stars show a clear relationship between childhood abuse, neglect, violence and family break-up and the tendency to enter the sex-industry, ultimately leading to appearance in porn films ('porn star' status). The heart-breaking truth behind these people is that their self-esteem and self-value has been shattered at a very early age, their level of expectation is low, and even more worrying, they are left feeling that they have no intrinsic value. So, they sell their bodies, lock down the emotions and tell the world how glamorous it is, whilst dying inside. If you want to read some stories of people who has managed to escape the industry try this link ... http://www.thepinkcross.org/pinkcross_articles

Secondly the positive impact ...

Many successful business people (and in broader life) can recount times in their childhood when they were actively encouraged by their parents or mentors to 'reach for the skies' and give it a go. Great musicians frequently cite back to the encouragement they received from their family when those around them (siblings, teachers etc) were being negative about their prospects in life. Tony Campolo, an American sociologist recounts how every morning he was sent packing to school. His neighbour, a boy of similar age to himself, was always sent out with the words 'Go and conquer the world'.

Okay so this may sound rather cliched but the truth is that our expectations will often drive what we do and what we achieve. And those expectations, in most cases, are nurtured and inspired by others who believe in us, see our potential and encourage us to use it.

Sure there are also people who have an amazing strength of will and who, despite being repeatedly put down, are determined to achieve. This is frequently a response to escape from their surroundings to a 'better life'. But somewhere desperation, self-belief or a combination of the two drive success.

So what am I saying?

I guess it's that each and every one of us has a responsibility to encourage others to achieve their potential, whenever and wherever we can. Put down the fears that we will be overtaken, or someone else will get our job. We all have the potential to be a mentor and the fruits can be huge, both personally and financially.

Equally, we have the potential to block others, prevent them from discovering their dreams and stop them achieving these.

Sure, we may stay on top of the pile but at what cost to us personally?

What if we encouraged someone to reach for the skies and they just happen to achieve this goal ... and take us with them.

It's a risk we take. But until we try we'll never find out.