What are the Dangers of Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence?

This may seem to be a pointless question after my last few posts, but self-esteem and self-confidence, like most other qualities must be held in balance.

We have all met the 'over-confident' and those whose ego and self-esteem are so inflated that they are nothing short of a pain (or danger) to be around.

Just as a balanced diet should be exactly that, BALANCED, so confidence and esteem must be balanced with and grounded in reality.

Historically, we have been taught that many bullies, aggressive, violent or anti-social individuals have a problem with low self-esteem and low self-confidence. More recent, controlled research suggests that these characteristics are commonly demonstrated when unearned self-esteem (an inflated sense of self-importance or superiority over others) is challenged or the individuals concerned feel humiliated.

These people have a self-esteem or self-opinion that is over-inflated and has no grounding in reality. As a consequence, it is very frail when challenged.

Why mention this?

Well, I think it is important to understand that seeking increased self-esteem and self-confidence as entities on their own is not a healthy pursuit. Both characteristics need to be grounded in reality and grounded in the context of our character.

Both characteristics are also under our control. We have a RESPONSIBILITY as well as a right to handle the skills we have and the best way to do that is by grounding them into reality.
I saw a scary video the other day of a 10-year-old boy in America addressing a crowd of 20000 people. Great! Good for him! But what is so scary is that he was a clone of the high pressure salesmen and public speakers we fear, and at such a young age is highly susceptible to being manipulated, as well as manipulating others. The content of what he had to say was actually very good, but his delivery bore no relationship to his age or experience. The words he used were of someone at least 20-years his senior ... and that is probably where they came from. This was not a demonstration of healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.

So, I'd like to finish where I started my first entry a few days ago ... which is by relating self-esteem to self-worth.

If we feel that intrinsically we have value (which I differentiate from importance) we are more likely to respond to the needs around us because we are confident that what we bring has value, even if it isn’t necessarily the total solution.

I believe that building and increasing self-esteem in others (and in ourselves) is a frequently overlooked tool for birthing success; in everything we do

Innovation: Courage to Create Success

Sometimes the first ingredient we need for innovation is courage; courage to go with our convictions, even in the face of opposition.

3M is a global company with a reputation for creativity and innovation, but anyone who has worked in almost any ‘creative and innovative organisation’ will tell you that reputation and actual practice are often poles apart. Sure, they like to take the credit for their public successes but what they don’t publicise so freely is just how much perseverance, tenacity and sheer dogged single-mindedness the individual champions of the case have to be in order to make their individual success a company success.

I was reminded recently of the account of Richard Drew, an iconic figure within 3M culture and the person responsible for not one, but two truly innovative products that put 3M well and truly on the map, both as an organisation and later as an innovative company.

Drew joined 3M with a less than glowing background of being a college dropout who played banjo in dance bands at night whilst studying engineering through a correspondence course. He had an entry level job as a lab technician. One of Drew’s tasks was to take batches of 3M’s Wetodry sandpaper to a nearby St Paul automotive body shop. At the time (1921) two tone colours were all the rage for cars, and on one of Drew’s visits a painter was cursing and swearing because he had just ruined a paint job. There was at that time no way of ensuring a good line between the colours except through the use of glues and paper etc.

Drew saw the problem and decided to come up with a solution.

Now it would be great to say that he was supported by the company for his efforts, but he wasn’t. 3M was a sandpaper manufacturer not a tape manufacturer so Drew had to ‘go underground’ to do his work, experimenting with all sorts of oils and resins to produce a superior adhesive. He was told to stop on at least one occasion and agreed until the attraction of his own little project became too great and he started again. When he had come up with a good prototype, he needed to manufacture the finished article for which he needed a specific piece of machinery. He was refused. So he used his initiative and used a series of $99 sign-offs (he was allowed to authorise payments up to $100) which slipped ‘under the company radar’ to buy the machine.

In 1925, Richard Drew successfully produced the world’s first masking tape with a pressure sensitive adhesive backing … and the rest, as they say, is history. Well it would be if Drew hadn’t come up a few years later with another invention of the first see through adhesive packaging tape, Scotch Tape, again after persevering against the odds.

Of course today, the name of Richard Drew is synonymous with the innovative spirit of the company, but at the time he was making it big for the company through his determination and conviction to succeed, it was a battle; a battle which involved stepping around the rules, lying low, persevering against the odds.

Innovation is often a rough path which is only seen and appreciated by the end-results of products or processes, not during the actual process of arriving (except by those who are driving it).

So the next time we are looking for innovation in our business, we need to remember that it is often a long and winding road, and a road that will require a lot of sweat and toil along the way, not only with the project at hand but with all the devil’s advocates and ‘jobworths’ who tell us that it won’t work. This is why we need to lok at adopting a creative and innovative culture which understands the processes, pitfalls and obstacles and which helps, not hinders the process which is the lifeblood of company survival and expansion.

PR: wait... I: wait... L: wait... LD: wait... I: wait... wait... C: wait... SD: wait...

PR: wait... I: wait... L: wait... LD: wait... I: wait... wait... C: wait... SD: wait...

Success in Failure; Humility in Leadership

Whilst hopping around the Internet recently I came across a great article on The London Business Forum website from an interview with Sir Richard Branson. As I read it, I was struck by an individual who is totally passionate about what he does whilst also being ready to learn, change and improve.

I remember Richard Branson being set-up for a fall on more than one occasion by our beloved British Press. When he was trying something new or attempting a new record, the snipers of the true British spirit shot … and if he failed, the “I told you so” or “You read it first in the ***” kinds of headlines prevailed. It was more important that he’d failed than what he’d attempted. And yet, if we talk to any successful businessman, failure is always on their list and it’s seen as part of their road to success (and perhaps that is why so many of our current journalists will never be successful … but that’s another story!).

Anyway, please enjoy the following except from Sir Richard’s interview:

‘Many of the audience wanted Branson to dispense some entrepreneurial advice, and he didn’t disappoint, mixing the common-sense with some fascinating and salutary anecdotes. “The importance of protecting the downside,” was a key lesson to learn, he said. This is why, when he cut a deal with Boeing to buy his first second-hand 747, it included an option to sell the plane back after one year. Boeing’s only concern, he said, was that Virgin “wouldn’t live up to its name but would actually go all the way.”

Similarly, he had a valuable tip on how to retain entrepreneurial dynamism while you’re growing: as soon as the number of staff hits 100, split the firm in two. In this way, he said, Virgin Records ended up being 20 different companies that “didn’t even share switchboards”. It’s a philosophy that Virgin still tries to observe in spite of its gigantic size. Of the group’s 200 branded companies, “none of them are massive in any particular field,” Branson said, and each has to stand on its own two feet”. The people who lead each business are managing directors, and are incentivised accordingly. “Virgin has created about 200 millionaires over the years,” he revealed.

The moment you go from one company to two companies, you’ve got to start learning the art of delegation, he added. “So what I try to do when we set up new businesses [is this]: I’ll go in, I’ll immerse myself for a month or two, I’ll learn all about that industry, so that if a managing director does come to me and wants to talk to me about mobile phones or trains, I’ll know something.”

True delegation means giving people the freedom to make mistakes, he said. “[My parents] would always look for the best in what [I] did. They were great believers in lots and lots of praise… And I think if you’re the leader of a company, this is even more important. You shouldn’t be looking for people slipping up, you should be looking for all the good things people do and praising those. People know when they’ve slipped up, they don’t need to be told.”

Another defining characteristic of Branson’s personal management style was his willingness to be humble, and to listen to criticism, where staff and customers are concerned. “I do try to make an effort,” he said. “If I’m on a Virgin plane, I’ll try to meet all the passengers. I’ll have a little notebook in my back pocket. I’ll meet all the staff.” He stressed the importance of tiny details, saying that only by getting these right will you end up with “an exceptional company rather than an average company.”

Ultimately, business is not about “balance sheets, money, profits and loss,” he argued. It is about “creating something you’re really proud of, something the people who work for you can be really proud of… the actual business aspect is simply there to be mopped up at the end.”

The fact that he never got a tight grasp of financial matters was probably a benefit, he suggested, in that it persuaded him never to bring in accountants too early in the development of a venture. “You’ll get one firm of accountants that will tell you, based on their own preconceptions, why starting an airline is a ghastly idea and every other airline fails and you’re going to lose a lot of money. You’ll get another set of accountants who’ll tell you why they think you’re going to make money. But they have no idea one way or the other.”

Far more important is to create something that you, yourself, really want and value, he concluded. “If it’s exceptionally good then people will always turn up and use it.”
Perhaps it’s time to regain and re-embrace some of the old ‘British Spirit’ without being ashamed (and without extreme nationalism). And it’s time to put to death the insipid political correctness that will undoubtedly ruin so many ventures. We are not all the same. Celebrate the fact and be prepared to try to succeed, even if we must embrace failure.

Above all, be prepared to be humble; to learn, to change, to improve … and to acknowledge that we may not have all the answers on our own, but they are often in our colleagues, friends and family if we are prepared to look.

Until next time …

'Oh! I've known you for ages. I don't think it's my job to tell you when you've done something well ... just when you need to improve'

So ended a conversation with someone I'd known for years ... and it hurt ... and it set me thinking!

I see many people, especially young people/young adults with a desperate need to be affirmed, noticed, respected (in the true sense) and encouraged. They have many 'friends' and colleagues whom they have known for a long time, but somehow the familiarity has also put scales on the eyes of friends, so that they no longer encourage or feed positives into their life ... only a destructive neutrality.

And yet I am often just as guilty as my friend for either prejudging (appearance, comments from other people etc) or just looking for things I can improve in others, whilst missing the core values and reasons why they are my friend in the first place. What should be a relationship becomes a monologue: I forget their needs and aim to fulfil my wants.

I remember friends at school who were devastated when they had tried their hardest and yet weren't quite good enough because the standard of their work didn't compare to the standard of work submitted by other members of the class. Rather than being helped and encouraged, they were targetted by teachers and fellow pupils; they were the butt end of jokes; they were labelled 'thick', 'stupid', 'dunces' (and worse) ... and I was right there with the crowd taunting them!!

What effect did this have on the individuals concerned?

They responded in a number of ways. They became:

Discouraged ... they perceived themselves as not good enough.
Demotivated ... their enthusiasm and interest declined and not surprisingly, their marks got worse
Disillusioned ... long-term, some of my friends gave up in that subject
Some became Disenfranchised from the education system ... they continually got into trouble with teachers, pupils and in some cases the law, and very sadly, some lost hope.

But thankfully, some became very successful people, running their own business and enjoying life.

So what happened to buck the trend?

In most cases there was either an individual who took interest in them, coached and encouraged them, hung in there and made a difference. In other cases the inner drive of these people to prove to themselves that they had value and could succeed was so strong that they drove themselves to achieve what they had been told could never happen.

I hear sad stories about people like Robbie Williams and Mick Hucknall, two high profile, talented personalities in the music world who were told by teachers at school, 'You will never amount to anything.' Ouch! Wouldn't it have been so much better if their talents had been spotted, encouraged and nurtured so that they could reach and enjoy their success without so many hangups and low self image.

As we look to cultivate our relationships with others we should start by 'earning the right' to their friendship by building trust and demonstrating that we are worth having as a friend. And once we have built these friendships and relationships, it is the responsibility of each of us to accentuate the positive rather than highlight the negative or, equally as destructive, make no comment at all.

I believe that by applying these principles to our relationships, in all areas of life, we will benefit, our friends will benefit, those around us will benefit and ultimately our businesses and ventures will benefit.

The creative paradox

For decades we have been educating and training people to be academics. Those who succeed take the highest places of honour, those who don't ... well, we'd rather not talk about them.

But who are the REAL losers in these systems. I think the short answer is ... everyone!

We focus on training people to become thinkers, but at the same time deprive them of a key aspect of their intellectual capacity ... creativity.

Creativity isn't just something done by a small subset of people, locked away in a special 'creative room' that most of us never see. True creativity is something in which everyone of us can engage and comes when we apply all of our intellectual faculties ... reasoning, emotions, feelings ... when we allow our whole brain in on the party.

Think about an athlete preparing for a key race. We wouldn't expect them to exercise only one leg and one arm. We may laugh at the idea, but our traditional education systems do exactly that with our brain ... one part thrives and the other part atrophies.

And worse still, what if our brain doesn't connect with these logical, deductive learning processes? In two words: we struggle. Worse still, we become convinced of our own failure because we don't hit the academic standards (which after all are only set against one dimension of criteria).

There are many amazingly creative people who fall by the wayside because they are never allowed to achieve their full potential. Even the so-called 'academic successes' fail, as critical areas of personal development involving the emotions, interactive skills and basic team player skills have been squeezed through the academic mangle and been left behind.

Business cries out for creative people but is rarely in a position to get any: it doesn't really know how to recognise and test for creative people within its own walls and the end-products of university or college education rarely have the necessary skills or abilities.

It's a sobering thought ... one I will be looking at further. But what do you think?